My Heart, My Soul, My Life
by CaskettForever101
Summary: Castle has been missing for 12 years, but Kate hasn't given up on him yet- and she never will. He left her with a precious gift, but will she ever see him again? Why did he disappear? My own version of Caskett but follows most of Season 4
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my OC's**

Detective Kate Beckett was a mess.

Rick Caste had been missing for 12 years and the case had been cold just as long. Kate dropped her head to the desk in exhaustion; she didn't think she had had a decent night's sleep since he disappeared.

"Go home, Beckett." Ryan said from his desk.

"I've still got paperwork," She said, picking up her head to glare at both of them.

"Well, you won't be getting it done tonight. Go on, Beckett," Esposito said, coming into the conversation.

She sighed in defeat, not having the energy to argue back and began packing up her things. "You will call me if you get any leads?" She asked. They didn't have a current case, but even if they did she knew they knew what she meant.

"Do you have that little faith in us?" Ryan asked. Kate just shook her head and headed out of the precinct. Her phone buzzed; it was a text from Alexis.

_I'm coming to the loft. You have to see this!_

She shot a text back to her:

_I'm leaving the precinct now._

She got to the loft and let herself in to find Alexis. "Hey. Where is Rikki?"

Alexis looked up, confused. "She isn't here and I didn't see any note when I came in, but I have only been here a couple of minutes."

Kate went upstairs to check the bedrooms while Alexis checked downstairs. She went back down, unsuccessful in her search.

"She isn't here, Kate."

She pulled out her phone and called Rikki now that she knew she wasn't at the house. Her stomach dropped when it went straight to voice mail.

She dialed another number. "Ryan, I need your help."

"Sure, what's up Beckett?"

"Rikki is missing. Will you trace her cell for me?"

"Kate, are you sure you just aren't overreacting?" Ryan said hesitantly.

Kate took a deep breath. "Something is wrong. I can feel it. Please."

She could tell that she had broken his resolve, "Fine." It was quiet for a moment except for the tapping of the keyboard on Kevin's end. "Uh oh."

Kate felt a chill run down her spine. "What's wrong, Kevin?"

"I can't get a trace. It's been deactivated."

Kate was attempting to get her breathing under control when Alexis pressed a cup of hot chocolate into her hand, fear evident on her face.

"Hold on Kate. Esposito and I will be right over. We'll figure this out."

_Yeah,_ she thought, _Just like last time._

13 years ago

Kate took a deep breath as she prepared to knock on Castle's door. Before she could chicken out, she knocked and froze, surprised with herself for actually doing it. Alexis answered.

"Detective Beckett. Hi."

"Hello Alexis. Is your dad home?"

"Yeah, come on in," Kate followed Alexis to the kitchen where Castle was cooking supper. "Beckett is here, Dad," she said before leaving the room.

"Hello Detective Beckett. Missed my charming persona already?"

"Castle, I need to talk to you. But if you're busy, it can wait until another time."

Castle studied her as she fidgeted. Something was wrong and he didn't want to make her wait.

"No worries, everything just has to cook. We can go into the living room?" He suggested.

"Sure." She said and followed him in there.

"What's wrong Kate?" he asked her once they were settled on the couch. She wouldn't meet his eyes; in fact, she was doing everything _not_ to meet his eyes.

Kate took a deep breath and decided not to beat around the bush. She wanted to say what she needed to so that she could get all of it out of her system and out there before it ate her alive.

"I've been lying to you about something." She said quietly. She could tell that Castle had tensed next to her, even though she still wouldn't look at him.

"I told you… I told everyone- that I don't remember my shooting. That's not true."

She waited as he took in exactly what that meant. "Everything?" he asked in a whisper.

She closed her eyes, trying not to break down before turning and looking him in the eyes. "Everything."

"You heard what I said? And you are just now telling me?" Castle was fighting to keep his temper in check. There had to be a reason she was telling him this now. He got up and started to pace.

Kate thought he was leaving, "Castle, wait." She said. He stopped and looked at her. "Let me explain."

"So explain."

Kate looked at a loss for words for a moment before starting. "You have to understand. After the shooting, I was so scared. I push people away, Castle. I didn't even know if you had actually said it or if it was just my imagination since that was what I wanted to hear or if you were just saying it in the heat of the moment. And then you never brought it back up. It was easier to pretend that I didn't remember anything. That way, nobody would ask me about it and I could get my bearings again."

Castle softened with each statement and declaration from her. "So why tell me now."

"I realized something today…I realized that you don't always have as much time as you would like, especially with my line of work. You need to know…" She let out a sharp breath. "You need to know that I love you too, even if you don't feel the same way anymore."

Kate turned away, afraid to see the rejection that was probably all over his face.

"Kate," He said softly, touching her shoulders and turning her towards him. "I still love you." He tilted her head up.

She stood up on her toes and wrapped her arms around him before kissing him. It took him a second, but he quickly caught up. She pulled back only for _him_ to capture her lips once more. When they were out of breath, they laid their foreheads against each other.

"So does this mean that you're my girlfriend now?"

Kate let out a breathy laugh. "Yes Castle."

12 years earlier

Richard Caste stared across the table at his captors. "What do you want with me? I can give you money."

"We don't wish harm to you Mr. Castle. We wish to help you."

"_Help me?_"

"You know that your partner's mother's killer is out there and is now after your 'muse.' We feel that the best way to protect you would be to get you out of the situation."

"What about Kate, Alexis and my mother? They need protection too."

"We have information that they are currently targeting you. The rest of your family will depend on how far they are willing to go."

"So what do you want me to do? Did you just bring my here to warn me?"

"Actually Mr. Castle, you will be going into the Witness Protection Program."

**AN: So what do you think? I would love some feedback. Is the order of the story too hectic? If nobody tells me their opinion on the format, I will just stick with it. **


	2. Chapter 2

Present Time

Kate took a shaky breath as she walked into the precinct and up to the murder board, currently covered with Rick and Rikki's abduction.

Alexis came up behind her. She had followed Kate's lead and became a detective after her father's disappearance. "She was last seen right after school. The cameras show that she never made it home yesterday." Alexis had cut her break short to investigate the kidnapping so she only just noticed the board. "You think they are connected?"

"I don't think that this is a coincidence." Kate admitted quietly. "Gates, Ryan and Esposito agree."

"Do you think-" Alexis caught herself before she could finish her thought. "Never mind."

Kate gave her a small smile of understanding. "I don't know, Alexis. We will find her. You said that she never made it home yesterday?" At Alexis's nod, Kate continued. "That means that she had to have been abducted in the four blocks between the loft and the school. Let's look at security tapes. Maybe we can find our crime scene.

Esposito and Ryan were at the school seeing if there were any witnesses so Alexis and Beckett got to work on the cameras.

An hour later, Alexis sat back and rolled over to Beckett. "Okay, so I found cameras everywhere except this street. I can follow her progress up to here and then she never shows up on this camera."

"That's our scene of the crime. Let's go," Kate said, grabbing her phone and calling the boys.

"Ryan? We've got our crime scene. I'm texting the address to you."

"Great. We will meet you there."

xXXCaskettXXx

Kate slipped on her gloves as they approached the crime scene. They started searching for anything that could lead them to the kidnapper.

Kate bagged a few strands of hair but luckily did not find any blood. "Kate." Alexis said quietly from across the alley as Ryan and Esposito appeared.

"What's up?"

"Her iPod." Kate's eyes widened and they all headed over there. The screen was cracked as if she had thrown it in the moment.

"Do you know the pass code?" Ryan asked her.

"I do," Alexis said. "It's caskett with two T's all lowercase." Kate flinched and closed her eyes briefly. She pushed memories from her mind, trying to focus on the job at hand.

They opened it. "It's on photos." Ryan scrolled through until he got to her latest pictures. "Woah."

"What?" Kate asked, immediately on alert.

"Kate, she might not even be eleven yet, but you have a mini genius on your hands." He handed her the iPod.

Kate took it. There were multiple pictures of a black car from the front. Then it showed her behind the car many pictures that seemed to be focused on the back. "She was trying to get us the license plate."

"There's more." Ryan told her and she continued to scroll.

"No way. That's not possible."

13 years ago

Castle walked into the precinct with two coffees in his hand. "Detective Beckett."

"Castle," Kate said, glancing up from her paperwork. He handed her the coffee cup and she took it shyly. "Thank you."

"Anytime." He said, "You almost done with the paperwork?" It had only been two days since Kate had showed up unannounced at his place, but things had been going pretty smoothly.

"Yeah," She said, drawing it out as she finished the last sentence. "Done."

"Good. He was about to reach for her hand, but she shot him a look. They had decided not to tell anybody at work yet. Beckett's phone rang. She answered it.

"We got a body. Come on boys," she said.

Castle followed after her. "What are you doing tonight?" he asked when they were at her car.

"Working, Castle. What do you think?" She asked.

"Okay, after that. What do you say to dinner? We can go out at about 6 or 7. Please?" He begged.

"Are you asking me on a date, Rick?" she asked teasingly.

"Why, I believe I am. So will you go on a date with me?" He asked, reaching for her hand and squeezing it.

"Of course," She smiled up at him and his heart melted. He loved her smile.

They got to the scene and processed it.

Lanie looked up as they approached. "The cause of death was the stab wound to the chest. Time of death was between 11 and 2. I can tell you know more once I get the body back to the lab."

They finished processing the crime scene but by the time 6 rolled around, there were no new leads.

"We still on for tonight?" Castle asked her.

"Sure Castle. Get out of here and I will come in a couple minutes."

"Sure." He said, "Do you know how much I want to kiss you right now?" he whispered.

"Just hold on for a couple more minutes," She said, rolling her eyes at him, even though she was feeling the same way.

"Hey guys, I am going out. I'll meet up with you later."

"Hot date?" Javier asked.

"Smoking," Castle said. Kate rolled her eyes at him affectionately.

"Who?" Ryan asked.

"That is a secret," Castle said, as he got on the elevator. "And you aren't getting anything out of me."

Five minutes later, Kate dropped her work on her desk. "I'm out of here too. Call me if we get anything."

Ryan and Esposito exchanged looks. "Since when do you leave this early?"

Instead of answering, Kate just shot them a look as she headed out. She met Castle downstairs. "Hey."

"Hi," she said, "You ready?"

"Yeah," He said, "Are you?"

"Yeah, but we better take separate cars. The boys are getting suspicious. Where are we going?"

"I thought we would try this new Italian place a couple blocks over," Castle suggested.

"Great," Kate said, "Meet you there."

When they got there, Castle walked to Kate and offered her his arm. "M'lady."

"Thank you kind sir," she responded with a light laugh that warmed Rick's heart. He turned her two him and kissed her passionately.

"I have been waiting all day to do that," he whispered, resting his forehead against hers.

"I know," She said smiling. "Lets go, I'm starving."

"A table for two." Castle said when they got in there, "Preferably a more private part."

Once they were seated and ordered they started talking randomly. The evening was light hearted and fun and they both enjoyed it. They were just finishing up when Kate said something that caused them both to look at each other in surprise.

"I know who the killer is!"

Castle

He looked around the place that he was meant to live in for the foreseeable future. He wasn't Richard Castle anymore; he was Michael Rook and a website designer.

He thought back to the conversation that he had had with is handler.

"_I need to go back to New York" Rick exclaimed angrily. _

"_It isn't safe for you there." _

"_Kate and Alexis and my mother are there!" _

"_We are keeping an eye on them. If they get into any danger, we will deal with that then. But you were in extremely imminent danger. It had to be taken care of." _

"_Do they at least know that I am safe?"_

"_They think that you have disappeared and you will eventually be ruled dead since they will not find you." _

"_Kate will not give up. She will find me eventually."_

_His handler just shook his head at him. "Whatever you say." _

Castle looked into the mirror; displeased with how he looked. Instead of his sandy colored hair, he now had black hair and his blue eyes were covered by green contacts.

"_I don't want to do this. I want my girlfriend and my daughter." _

"_You do not have a choice Mr. Rook." _

"_I can get away."_

"_We will stop you, have no doubt about that. But you won't. If you get free and go back to them, you will be putting them in harm's way, and we all know that you don't want that._

Rick took a deep breath and muttered, "I really hope that this is over soon."

**AN: Okay, so I decided to stay with the format. I only had two people respond and they responded oppositely so I decided that this will work. The first section will be present time, the second giving background on the Castle and Beckett's relationship. The third will gradually give information about how Castle is doing. **

**I will be showing important parts of the Caskett Relationship, so if there is anything specific you want to see, let me know. **

**Who do you think Rikki is? I want some opinions. Who knows, if you get it right, I might send you a sneak peak for my next chapter :) **

**Okay, enough rambling. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my OCs**

Present Time

"What would Federal Marshals want with my daughter?" Kate asked Ryan as they headed back to the precinct.

"Well, the Federal Marshals are in charge of the Witness Protection Program." Ryan said.

"But what would they want with her? She hasn't witnessed anything. Anyway, wouldn't they need my permission before they took her away?"

"I don't know Kate. But I called Gates and she said that she will look into it immediately."

Kate rushed up to the homicide part of the building to Gate's office. Gates never liked Castle, but she did come to care for Kate and wanted to help the homicide detective that reminded her so much of herself.

She was just hanging up the phone. "They cannot confirm or deny if they have taken a Rikki Castle into their custody. They will not give me any information even though we know that they have her."

"What do I do?" Kate asked, near to tears.

"I will keep working on them. In the meantime, go home. Rest with Alexis and take a breather."

Kate nodded, knowing that neither of them would be resting much, but was too exhausted to argue just the same.

"Alexis, come with me sweetie."

"What's up? Do we have something?"

"Yeah. An evening off."

"What? Why? We need to be out there looking for her!"

"Alexis," Kate started, turning to place her hands on her shoulders. "We will find her. But we will not be doing so while exhausted or running without energy. I promise, we can come back first thing tomorrow." She tried to make Alexis believe what she was saying, even though she herself did not agree.

Alexis nodded reluctantly. "Okayyy."

They got in the car and Alexis turned to Kate. "Do you still think that the kidnappings are connected?"

Kate kept her eyes on the road. "Honestly, I don't believe that they are. It's been twelve years. Why would someone wait that long to take her if it was connected to your dad's kidnapping?"

"It seems strange, but it also seems strange that two people from one family would disappear."

Kate contemplated for a minute. "It's possible that they are connected, but not probable."

There was silence as the words sunk in. A few moments later, something dawned on Kate. "Wasn't there something you wanted to show me?"

Alexis looked confused for a moment before her face completely lit up. "Yes! Oh my gosh, I can't believe that I forgot!"

"What is it?"

"I can't tell you, I have to show you. Just wait until we get back to the apartment."

Kate glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. "I see how it is." She tried not to smile, despite her depressed mood.

"No, you just won't understand or believe me unless I show you! I can't believe I didn't remember!"

Alexis was out of the vehicle before they had even stopped. By the time Kate made it up the stairs, Alexis was out of breath with a book in her hand. "Look at this; specifically the dedication.

Kate just looked at it for a moment; she hadn't really read anything since Rick had disappeared.

"Alexis…" she trailed off. Alexis knew about her reading problems; despite the fact that Alexis had done the exact opposite of Kate and buried herself in crime novels; she still respected her decision on not reading.

"I know, Kate. I know that you don't really read crime novels anymore, but read the dedication. Please." She begged.

Reluctantly, Kate flipped the book open to the dedication.

_To my beautiful girls;_

_My girlfriend Katie who I love dearly_

_My Daughter Lexis who lights up my life_

_Always remember that I will come home to you_

"This has to be a coincidence." Kate said immediately, though her heart was hammering with excitement.

"That's what I thought at first too, but then I started reading it. Kate, it's his writing style. Very few people can recognize his writing style and you and I are two of them. Please, please, please read it. Just a little bit. If you don't see it, then you don't have to go on. But give it a shot, Kate.

Kate took a deep breath.

"Okay, I'll read it."

13 years ago

"Alexis, Mother, can I talk to you?" Castle asked as he came into the kitchen that morning, exhausted. He hadn't been able to spend the night with Kate and his sleep had been affected because of it. They had both agreed to tell their families yesterday.

"Sure Dad, what's up?"

"What's wrong Richard?"

"Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to let you know that Kate and I are officially dating." He couldn't help but smile as he said it.

Alexis jumped up and hugged him. "That's awesome Dad!"

"That's wonderful Richard. You simply must have her over for dinner tonight."

"Tonight?" Rick asked, a little surprised.

"Yes!" Alexis answered.

"You are okay with this?" He asked her, worriedly. His daughter was still his top priority.

"Okay? Of course I am. Invite her over!"

"Okay, okay. If we close the case today, we will be home by seven for dinner, okay?"

"Great, Dad! How long have you been dating, anyway?"

Castle didn't say anything for a moment. "Three weeks."

"And you waited this long to tell us?" Alexis said, her hands on her hips giving him a look.

"We both decided to take it slow. We didn't tell anybody yet. You two are the first to know."

Alexis went up and hugged her dad. "I am so happy for you." She whispered in his ear.

xxXCaskettXxx

"We need to solve the case," Castle insisted.

"I don't want to blow off dinner with your family, Castle. They boys will survive without us for a couple hours. We don't have any leads anyway."

"Are you sure? We can always do it another time."

"Castle, come on. Let's get out of here." Kate walked up to the murder board where Ryan and Esposito were talking. They looked up when she came over. "I'm heading out, I've got plans tonight. Call me if you get anything."

The boys exchanged knowing looks."Okay." They said at the same time.

"You want to tell us about these…plans?" Ryan asked.

"No." Kate said as if it was the end of the conversation.

Castle came up from the other direction. "Alexis is cooking tonight so I am heading out and home."

"See ya!" the guys called as Kate and Castle went to gather their respective belongings.

"Do you think there is something going on there?" Ryan asked Esposito in a quiet voice once they were gone.

"Well, they obviously like each other. If they ever decide to take action on those feelings is another story."

xxXCaskettXxx

"How do I look?" Kate asked Castle.

"Lovely. You have nothing to worry about. They were thrilled when they found out."

"Okay." Kate gnawed on her bottom lip. "Are you sure?"

"Relax," Castle said before taking her hand and opening the door.

"Richard, Kate." Martha said, noticing them first.

"Hey Dad. Hello Detective Beckett." Alexis said. "I was just about to take dinner out of the oven."

"It smells wonderful Alexis." Kate said, smiling at her.

They enjoyed their meal of chicken parmesan with light conversation and it went quite well.

"That was delicious Alexis. Thank you." Kate said sitting back.

"Why don't Mother and I clean up while the two of you go pick out a movie or a game or something." Castle said.

"I can clean, Dad." Alexis said, standing up.

"No, no. Go pick something to do. We have this under control."

Kate knew exactly what he was doing. He was giving her the chance to talk to Alexis and get her worries out of the way.

"Come on Alexis. If they want to clean, who are we to argue?" Kate said teasingly.

"Well… Okay, if you're sure." Alexis said. Kate followed her into the room.

"Movie or game?" Alexis asked her.

"Game." Kate said decisively. They finally decided on Monopoly after finding that neither of them liked Scrabble.

"So, Alexis." Kate started hesitantly.

Alexis looked up to show that she was listening. "Yeah?"

"Are you sure you are okay with me dating your dad?"

"Of course!" Alexis said with a smile. "You two are so cute together!"

"Thank you." Kate said, relieved.

"Thank _you_," Alexis said.

"For what?"

"For respecting me enough to ask me how I feel. That means a lot to me Detective Beckett."

"Of course. And Alexis, you can call me Kate."

Castle

Castle pulled out a new journal. He had finally decided that he was going to write a note to Kate; a note she would probably never see, but a note just the same.

_Kate,_

_I love you and I am so sorry. I wish that I was there with you in New York. Don't lose hope, I will come back to you eventually. I hope you know that I don't have any control over this. I would never do anything that would harm you; and I can't take the chance that this might. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me. _

_Richard Castle_

_Kate,_

_Today has been a long day. I miss you still and yearn to see you. How is Alexis doing? A woman in town was flirting with me earlier. It just about killed me as I imagined the jealousy that always appears on your face when someone flirts with me. If you move on, I will not blame you; I will be happy because you are. _

_Love you Always,_

_Rick Castle_

_Kate, _

_I regret that we might never be able to live out the lives we had planned. I wanted to give you kids that we could cherish together. I wanted to marry you and the wedding would be however you wanted it to be. I know that you would want small and that is exactly what it would have been. I hold on to the hope that we might one day still get our happily ever after. _

_Your dedicated Lover, _

_Rick_

Castle looked at his journal in disdain. He had to hide it to ensure that nobody ever found it. He hid it under a fake bottom in a drawer, but that didn't stop him from writing in it every night.

**AN: Thanks for everyone who reviewed, I love hearing what you think of the story. I have the next couple of chapters planned out, but I will most likely not be able to update on the weekends because I am so busy. **

**Challenge: Write a note from Castle to Kate under 100 words. The winner(s) will be used later in the story (Yes, you will definitely get credit) If you would like to enter but do not want me to use it, let me know. This will be open until 3/19/13 at 11:59PM Eastern Standard Time. You may send submissions through PMs or Reviews, either will work.**

**Thanks :)**

**~CaskettForever101~**


	4. Chapter 4

Present Day

Alexis and Kate both sat down to read the book, Kate more reluctantly than Alexis. Alexis opened a couple of pages in before Beckett did.

They spent the rest of the evening reading. Once Kate started reading it, she found that she couldn't stop. It just brought her back to Castle and completely comforted her.

She was only a couple hours in when she started to drift off.

For the first night in years, Kate got a decent night's sleep.

13 Years ago

Kate started awake at an insistent knocking on her door. She sat up and glanced over at Castle. He was starting to stir.

Knock, knock.

Castle groaned. "Who is it?"

"I don't know."

She rolled over off of the bed and went towards the door.

"Lanie?" She asked, confused, her mind sleep muddled. "Lanie." She was suddenly aware of who was at her apartment.

"Girl, we haven't had a day out in months. We are so going shopping or something today. Go get ready!"

Kate was trying to figure out how to get Lanie out of her apartment without her knowing that Castle was there.

"Lanie, I'm not really feeling up to going out today…" Kate trailed off as she heard the bedroom door open behind her and Castle came stumbling out.

"Girl, what is Castle doing here?" Lanie asked, demanding. "Now we are really having a girls day. Richard Castle, out!"

Castle exchanged a helpless glance with Kate before going back to her room and grabbing his bag. He was almost out the door when he mimed 'call me' to her. She nodded.

"How long has this been going on?" Was the first question out of Lanie's mouth.

"Two months."

"Why haven't I heard about this sooner?"

"We decided not to tell anybody about it yet. We have kept it all really hush-hush. Only immediate family knows about it.

"Kevin and Javi don't know, do they?"

"No, and please don't tell them yet. We have to keep this from Gates so that Castle can keep working with me."

"You realize that you are lying to a room of detectives, right?" Lanie felt inclined to point out.

"Yes, Lanie. I am quiet aware of who I am lying to."

"So, is this like, really serious?"

Kate smiled. "I love him Lanie. I haven't felt this about anybody before."

Lanie let out a squeal. "Oh my gosh, we need to go over all the details! I need to know everything.

Kate sighed at her best friend's predictable response. "You might as well get comfortable. This is going to be a long story."

By the end of the boy conversation, Kate and Lanie were both exhausted.

"Well, girl. I get to be Maid of Honor, right?" she asked.

Kate rolled her eyes. "We have only been dating for a couple months, Lanie." She said, avoiding the question.

"Whatever girl. I'm gonna go and you better call that boy of yours."

"Thanks Lanie."

Lanie gave her a hug. "I am so happy for you, girl. And can I say it, I told you so!"

"I know Lanie."

Once Lanie was finally gone, Kate called Castle.

"Hello."

"Rick?"

"Hey Katie." She rolled her eyes at the name. "How did Hurricane Lanie go?"

"Be nice," Kate chided. "I told her everything, just so you know. Once she found out, there was absolutely no stopping her."

"Exactly; Hurricane Lanie. Can you come over?"

"Yeah, I was hoping to."

"Good, I just finished cooking supper. Alexis and my mom are out, we can just enjoy ourselves.

"That sounds really good, Castle. Really good."

Castle **AN: This will be a pretty drastic skip in time. It is now much closer to present time than it previously was.**

Castle was pacing his room, trying to get Kate off of his mind, but it was obviously not working.

_I need to write_

He stopped short as he realized he hadn't written an actual book in years.

_What if I wrote a book that I can dedicate to Alexis and Kate but not make it obvious?_

His mind immediately started working through different story ideas and he went to his laptop to get them down.

"I can bring in this case… And I can mention this, which points to here…" He was muttering to himself. If she found the book and if she was still looking for him, she would be able to find him. He would make sure of it.

**AN: Okay, I know that this is really short. I'm sorry. I had originally planned it to be longer… but that obviously did not work out. I did just put up another Castle/Caskett story if anybody is interested. I will most likely not be able to update until Monday. **

Challenge: Write a note from Castle to Kate under 100 words. The winner(s) will be used later in the story (Yes, you will definitely get credit) If you would like to enter but do not want me to use it, let me know. This will be open until 3/19/13 at 11:59PM Eastern Standard Time. You may send submissions through PMs or Reviews, either will work. I haven't gotten very many, so please submit some!


	5. Chapter 5

Present Day

Kate woke up the next day to find that Alexis had left after leaving her a note.

_Went to the Precinct. I will be back in the morning._

Kate grabbed the book and began reading again. She was halfway into her next chapter when she realized something.

"Woah!" she gasped, sitting up.

"I must have really been tired last night… He wrote this for _me _to read it. Half these names and parts of the cases are real cases we had. There is a bunch of this. I can't believe that I didn't realize this before!"

She spent the next couple of hours poring through the book, gathering all the hints he drops of the familiar names and cases.

She felt like the answer was right there in front of her. She decided to head to the precinct and ask Ryan and Esposito for help.

She got in the car and headed out. When she got there, she found Ryan and Esposito at the murder board.

"Hey, have you two been here all night?" She asked, noticing the coffee and bags under their eyes.

"Of course," Ryan said.

"You think we would give up? We basically helped you raise Rikki and Castle was like our brother. We still want to find them."

"Well, I don't have any leads for Rikki, but I might have something on where Castle is."

"What?"

"Yeah. Where is Alexis?"

They exchanged glances. "She hasn't been in all morning." Esposito said warily.

"Are you sure?" Kate asked panicked.

After checking out some cameras they couldn't find her.

"Kate… I think that she was taken too."

13 years Ago

Kate was relaxing in Castle's arms when a phone went off. Castle reached over and grabbed it.

"Castle."

"Castle? Man, we got a body. I can text you the address." Esposito said on the other end.

"Yeah, I will meet you there."

"Okay bro."

A few second later the other phone rang. Castle handed it to Kate.

"Beckett."

"Hey Kate." Ryan said, "We got a murder. Want me to text you the address?"

"Sure. I will be there soon."

They got ready. Castle headed out about ten minutes before Kate was ready. When she got there, she noticed that Ryan and Esposito were shooting glances between each other.

By the time they got back to the precinct, Kate was fed up. "What is up with you two?" She finally demanded.

"Kate." Ryan started. "I called Castle this morning."

"Yeah," Esposito said with a smirk. "And I called Castle."

Kate and Castle turned to each other with slight panic in their eyes.

"Anything you two want to tell us?"

"Well…" Castle started, glancing at Kate helplessly.

"We are dating." Kate admitted after a long silence.

"Well, we gathered that much. Why didn't you tell us?"

"We don't want Gates finding out," Kate admitted.

"Are we last? Does Lanie know?"

"Yeah, she found out a couple weeks ago."

"Aw man! Why are we always last to know?"

"I don't know. But you are detectives. If you couldn't figure it out until now, you must be pretty bad ones."

"You are right…" They both said trailing off before turning back to Kate and Rick.

"Hey!"

Castle

Castle came into the office where his handler told him to meet up.

He knocked and James (His handler, though that wasn't his real name) answered. "In, quickly." He said.

Castle entered to find a girl that he had never seen before sitting there. He noticed her eyes widen fractionally when she saw him but he otherwise got no reaction from her.

"Mr. Castle. This is Richelle Rook as of now. She will be living with you until further notice. She has had to go into the system without a parent."

Castle nodded. He looked at Richelle. She looked really familiar. Her hair had recently been dyed blonde and she had brown contacts on her eyes. He couldn't place who she looked like.

"Hello Richelle. I am Michael Rook."

She just nodded. James added, "She should call you Dad since-"

"No way!" Richelle snapped. "I refuse to call him that."

"Why?"

"That is none of your business! I don't want to call him that."

Castle raised an eyebrow. "You don't have to call me that. What if you call me Dad for show but you only have to call me Mike."

James didn't seem to like this idea, but Richelle was nodding. "I can do that."

"You could very easily forget and blow both of your covers."

Richelle turned on him. "I am the daughter of one of the best detectives in the world! I can take care of calling him the correct name at the correct time. You don't need to be worrying about me."

"If you mess up, you will both need to be relocated."

"I. Can. Handle. It." Richelle ground out. "Stop worrying about it."

"Fine, but I warn you both to be extremely careful."

"Yeah, yeah," Richelle muttered as the left.

Castle tried to start a conversation with his 'daughter' the entire way home. When they got inside, she finally seemed to lose her temper.

"Look. I don't want to be here, I want my mother and my sister and I want to go home. So just leave me alone, okay?"

"Look." Castle said, trying not to lose his temper on the girl who's life had been flipped upside down. "Our cover is that you are my daughter. I have to know something about you for this to work at all."

"I like to write." She said quietly.

"So do I." Castle said, surprised.

"Good to know. Do you read?"

"Yeah. I read a lot. In order to be a good writer, you have to be a good reader."

"You know, this might actually work out after all." Richelle nodded, fighting a smile at the thought of finally getting to know her dad.

**AN: Okay, so I managed to update again, but don't count on another one this weekend. Please review, it makes my day!**

Challenge: Write a note from Castle to Kate under 100 words. The winner(s) will be used later in the story (Yes, you will definitely get credit) If you would like to enter but do not want me to use it, let me know. This will be open until 3/19/13 at 11:59PM Eastern Standard Time. You may send submissions through PMs or Reviews, either will work. I haven't gotten very many, so please submit some!


	6. Chapter 6

Present

Kate was about at her breaking point. Her love was missing and now both of her daughters were missing.

She placed her head on her arms, trying to keep her cool and not cry.

Ryan rolled up next to her.

"Kate."

"What?" She mumbled.

"You said you had leads on Castle?"

"Yeah."

He waited a moment before asking, "What is it?"

"There is this book that Alexis found… She told me that it had her dad's writing style. She was right. If anybody knows his writing style, it would be the two of us."

"Did you read it?" Esposito asked.

"Yeah," Kate said, nodding slowly. "It was definitely his writing. I was reading it without, like, any energy though, so once I got some sleep, I realized that he was leaving tons of hints. I went through them, but I can't figure anything out. It's probably right in front of me."

She handed him the list she had compiled of familiar things and handed it to them.

They were going through it while Kate sat at her desk, watching them with listless eyes.

Lanie came up a few minutes later. "Hey sweetheart. How are you doing?"

Kate just looked at her oddly. "Okay."

When Kate didn't elaborate, Lanie sighed. "Kate, you can't just give up the way that you are."

She sighed. "I don't… Lanie, I just can't do this! Why is the world out to get me? Why can't I just be _happy?_"

"You will be. We _will_ find them."

"You can't know that."

"No, but I know that we definitely will not find them if you give up on them. You have to keep going until you find them. Let it drive you, not bring you down."

"Lanie, the last time I let a crisis drive me, it nearly got all of us killed."

"Then don't let it this time. You love them all and you need them. You can't give up on them."

Kate sighed. "You are right. You want to help us look at these clues. It might be a wild goose chase but I can't just pass it up."

They spent hours until about eleven o'clock looking at the clues but they couldn't find anything.

By eleven, everyone was exhausted."Let's call it a night," Kate said, rubbing her eyes.

"Let me take the book home and read some." Kevin suggested. "Maybe I can find something else."

"Okay." Kate said with a sigh.

She went back to the loft, exhausted, knowing that she still wouldn't be able to sleep. She laid in bed for hours before she finally gave up and padded her way into the kitchen.

She pulled the list out and stared at it:

Will Sorenson

Eliška Sokol

Scott Dunn

Tom Demming

Frank Anderson

Ike Royce

Esposito

Lindsey Zach

Diane Cavanaugh

Nelson Blakely

Jenna McBoyd

There were some things in the list that didn't make sense though. For one, It was supposed to be Mike Royce instead of Ike. And instead of Lindsey Zach, it was supposed to be Zach Lindsey.

She gasped in surprise.

"I know where he is," She whispered.

13 Years ago

_We have your lady cop. Let the charges go or she dies_

Castle was pacing in the autopsy room with Lanie. Ryan and Esposito were attempting to get Beckett back. They were working a serial killer case and she had been kidnapped.

Castle kept hearing the raspy voice of the killer in his head.

His phone rang.

"Castle," He answered. It was a number he didn't recognize. He held his breath.

"Rick."

"Kate? Are you okay? Where are you?"

"I got free and I don't have a lot of time." She told him the street she was on.

"They are on their way," Castle said, as Lanie picked up the phone and called the boys.

"Okay," She was about to hang up.

"Wait. I love you." Castle said quietly.

"I love you too. I got to go."

The phone went dead.

Castle was even more on edge now.

He didn't relax until his phone rang. He tensed up.

"Castle."

"Castle, man, it's Esposito. We got her, she's okay."

Castle breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"Are you guys coming back here?"

"Yeah. They wanted to take Kate to the hospital, but she downright refused. Said she was fine. She wants to see you. We are almost there."

"Okay. We will meet you upstairs.

She came off of the elevator and nearly flew into Castle's arms.

"I was so worried," He whispered to her before kissing her chastely. She sighed and leaned into his embrace.

"Mr. Castle. Detective Beckett."

They jumped apart at the voice.

"Sir." They both said to Captain Gates.

"My office, now."

They followed her, glancing uneasily at each other.

"I am going to ask you a question, and I expect you to answer me honestly. Are the two of you involved in a romantic relationship?"

"Yes." They both said at once.

Gates looked at them contemplatively. They squirmed under her gaze.

"It's about time."

Kate blinked in surprise. "You are not upset?"

"No."

"Can Castle continue to consult?"

"He is a _consultant._ Not a cop. Therefore, the workplace rules do not count."

They looked at each other in surprise. "Thank you sir." Castle said.

"I still don't like you too much." She admitted to Castle. "But I cannot deny that you have been a valuable asset to this precinct. If you keep your relationship out of the precinct for the most part, I see no reason why you cannot continue to consult."

"Thank you!" They both said as they exited the office.

Castle sighed in relief. "What do you say we go back to my place and relax? The paperwork can wait until tomorrow."

It was almost nine so Kate agreed.

"I love you Rick."

"I love you too Kate."

Castle

Richelle was still being distant when it came to Castle, but he decided not to push.

"How was school?"

"Good."

"Have any homework?"

"Nope."

"Do you want to go out and do something tonight?"

"I'm good."

The unsuccessful conversation was cut off by the doorbell.

Castle and 'Richelle' looked at each other confused.

"Were you expecting anybody?" Castle asked quietly.

"Nope. You?"

He shook his head before moving to the door and opening it as normally as possible. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

"Hello. Are you Mr. Rook? I was told to find you…" The girl trailed off and looked up. Her eyes widened in shock.

"Yes, I am Mr. Rook. Come on in." He stepped aside and the girl walked in, surprised. She had brown hair and brown eyes but it was obvious who she was.

"Alexis?" Castle asked.

"I am Alexandra." She said but her heart wasn't in it. "Dad." She launched herself at him and he caught her.

"I've missed you." He said quietly.

"You have some explaining to do." She said, pulling back with a glare.

"Lexi?" 'Richelle' asked from the doorway to the kitchen.

"Rikki…" Alexis breathed, trailing off. She took Rikki into her arms. "We've been so worried about you."

"He doesn't know who I am." Rikki whispered into Alexis's ear.

Alexis nodded her understanding and stood up.

"How do you know Richelle, Alexandra?" Castle asked.

"I babysat her a lot." Alexis said, which was technically not a lie. She really did, she just omitted the fact that it was because they were siblings.

Castle nodded. "Come on, lets get caught up."

They sat down. "Alexandra, do you want anything to eat?"

"No, thank you. I just ate." Alexis said as Rikki actually started eating her food.

Alexis kept the conversation away from Kate and the NYPD because she really did not want to answer any pressing questions with Rikki there. They kept it as small talk to what they had been doing.

Rikki was finally nodding off when Alexis told her she should go to bed. Rikki nodded, hugged her and went to her room.

"How is Kate?" Castle asked as soon as she was out of the room. It hadn't taken long to understand Alexis's way of thinking.

Alexis didn't answer for a moment. "You didn't lose contact with her, did you?" Castle asked anxiously.

"No, no, nothing like that. But she hasn't been doing very well, Dad. She has really struggled since you disappeared."

"I didn't choose to." Castle defended.

Alexis just looked at him. "Didn't you? I mean, you have been missing for _twelve years_."

"I have tried to escape since I got here. Every time, I am caught before I could get anywhere."

Alexis didn't say anything for a minute. "Look. I don't know why we are here, but I do know that I am not sure I completely forgive you yet. I am ecstatic to see you are alive, but I have been hurting for years thinking you were kidnapped, when you are here, completely safe?" Her voice had risen slightly, but not enough to capture Rikki's attention.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you." Castle said quietly. "But know that it wasn't my choice to be here. Was it your choice?"

"No." Alexis said. "But I have been missing for a grand total of 36 hours. You have been missing for twelve years.

She sighed and stood up."I am going 'home.' I will be back tomorrow. Night Dad," she said, leaning over and hugging him and kissing his cheek. "Love you."

"Love you too Alexis. I missed you."

**AN: Here is another update! Yay! I am not feeling the greatest, so if you find a mistake or something doesn't make sense, let me know. **

**Where do you think Castle and Alexis and Rikki are?**

**I got a guest review asking me about the dedication and how his handlers allowed him to put out the book. That will be explained later (As long as I remember to put it in :) **

**Challenge: Write a note from Castle to Kate under 100 words. The winner(s) will be used later in the story (Yes, you will definitely get credit) If you would like to enter but do not want me to use it, let me know. This will be open until 3/19/13 at 11:59PM Eastern Standard Time. You may send submissions through PMs or Reviews, either will work. I haven't gotten very many, so please submit some!**

**I do realize that this is moving kind of fast, but I do not like reading slow stories, so I have trouble drawing things out. Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

Kate slumped into the loft. She had moved in with Castle a couple of months ago and had had a really rough day at work. He hadn't been there today because of a book signing, making the day seem even longer.

"Hi Kate." Alexis said as Kate walked into the room.

"Hey Alexis. How was your day?"

"It was good. Where is my dad?"

Kate furrowed her eyebrows. "He had a book signing today."

"But-" Alexis cocked her head in confused.

"But…" Kate prompted.

"Well, two things. I know for a fact he planned on leaving early and heading to the precinct to see you. Second, he is always home by five at the latest after a book signing unless he goes to the precinct."

Kate glanced at the wall. It was nearly ten. "Alexis, something is wrong." She said quietly.

"That's what I thought. Try calling him." Alexis suggested. Kate pulled out her phone and did as she suggested. She nearly cried when it went straight to voicemail.

Alexis was shaking. Kate sat her down and made her a cup of hot chocolate with cinnamon, something her mom always made for her as a kid when she was upset. She handed it to Alexis and she took a sip.

Alexis tasted it and furrowed her eyebrows. "Did you put something in this?"

"Cinnamon."

"Cinnamon?"

"If you don't like it, I can make you a normal cup. My mom always made me hot chocolate with cinnamon when I was upset."

"No, it's really good. Thank you." Alexis was touched that Kate was willing to share this tradition with her. Kate sat down next to her with her own cup of cinnamon hot chocolate. "Maybe he had an appointment that we weren't aware about." Kate suggested.

Alexis shook her head. "I doubt it. I mean, he doesn't keep secrets from either of us. And if he wasn't going to be home until late, he would at least answer his phone so that we wouldn't freak out."

"Maybe the Old Haunt?" Alexis suggested.

"I drove by there on my way home. He wasn't there. He took his car today and I didn't see that there."

"What do we do?" Alexis asked her, turning her head towards her.

"We can't do anything tonight, Alexis. My best idea is that we sleep, and if he doesn't show up, then we take it from there tomorrow. But since I know neither of us are going to be able to sleep, how about a movie marathon?"

Alexis nodded and they moved to the living room together. "What movies? I am thinking cartoon movies. Something lighthearted." Alexis nodded and knelt down.

"What about Scooby Doo?" She suggested.

Kate smiled slightly at her. "That sounds good."

They put in the movie and Kate made some popcorn with extra butter, but neither of them touched it much. It wasn't until about four AM until they both fell asleep together on the couch.

Kate woke up at about 7AM with sore neck. It only took a couple seconds to remember why she was on the couch with Alexis. She sat up fast and grabbed her phone to check for calls. There were none. She checked Rick's office and room and he wasn't there either.

Alexis was getting up when Kate came out. "Is he back?"

"No, Alexis. I don't think that he is. I'm calling the precinct. We will find him." Kate said as she quickly got changed.

"I'm coming with you." Alexis said.

"Alexis…" Kate trailed off.

"I might be able to help. I won't be able to handle going to school today anyway, so you might as well let me come with you. Please, Kate. I need to be doing _something._"

Kate let out a sigh. "Okay." She gave in. "Come on."

xXXCaskettXXx

It had been two weeks since they had first realized that Castle was missing. Kate and Alexis were wrecks.

Kate was feeling really lightheaded. She sat at her desk at the precinct, but she couldn't focus on any of her work. Then everything went black.

Kate woke up to the blinding hospital lights. She was sitting up when Alexis came in.

"Kate! Thank God you are okay!" She rushed over and gave her a hug. "I was worried about you."

"What happened? The last think I remember is being at the precinct."

"You passed out." Alexis explained as the doctor came in.

"Kate. It is good to see you up. I am Doctor Weber." He flipped through her chart. "You need to eat and drink more to keep this from happening again. Luckily, you and the baby are fine."

Kate nearly choked on the water she was drinking. "Baby?"

"You didn't know?" Dr. Weber asked. "You are pregnant. Congratulations."

Kate nodded numbly. "Let me go and get your release forms. You are free to go."

When he was gone, Kate turned to Alexis, trying not to cry.

"Kate. It will be okay. We will find him and two can raise a wonderful kid together. I will be here for you every step of the way." She promised.

"Alexis, I don't know if I can be a mother." Kate said."I never planned on kids."

"Do you want the kid?" Alexis asked.

"Yes!" Kate said without thought.

"Okay. That's what I thought. As long as you want the kid, you will be a great parent."

"Thanks Alexis." Kate sighed and put her head in her hands.

xXXCaskettXXx

Kate came downstairs to find Alexis bent over a stack of papers.

"Hey Lexi. What are you doing?"

"Changing my major."

This threw Kate. She hadn't even known that Alexis was considering changing her major. She had originally been going to be an ME.

"To what?"

"I want to be a detective like you."

Kate sat down next to her. "May I ask why?"

Alexis looked up. "Both you and my father loved working at the station. I want to make a difference."

"You could do that by being an ME as well." Kate reminded her.

"I know. But you could have made a difference as a lawyer but you became a cop."

"That's true. Make sure you think this through though, okay?" Kate said. "I don't want you to be miserable."

Alexis was quiet for a minute as she filled out some more paperwork. "I understand now."

"You understand what exactly?" Kate asked with a raised eyebrow as she moved to get some tea for both of them.

"Your fixation with your mom's murder. Why you couldn't be with my dad until you sorted it out."

Kate chewed on her lip, trying to decide how much liberty she had to say what she wanted to. "Alexis." She sat down across from her this time.

"Yeah?" Alexis looked up and set her pencil down, giving Kate her attention.

"You know your dad would want you to do something that makes you happy, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Alexis, don't make the same mistakes that I did. If you really want to be a detective, than go for it. But don't do it because you feel obligated or something."

"I've been considering becoming a detective for a while. This just solidified it for me though."

"Okay." Kate took a sip of her tea as she got her bearings. "I want you to promise me something though."

"What is it?" Alexis asked warily.

"I don't want you to let this rule your life the way my mother's murder did mine. I was miserable because of it. You need to know that it is okay to let go and nobody will think less of you because of it. That was part of my problem. Not only did I want to solve my mom's murder, but I didn't have anybody around to tell me its okay if I didn't. You will not be letting anybody down."

Alexis turned her head to the side as she considered what Kate told her. "I really think I want to do this. But I am glad that you told me that. It makes me feel a lot better."

Kate reached over and squeezed Alexis's hand. "Good. That's really good."

xXXCaskettXXx

"It's a girl." The nurse told Kate as she handed her the child she had just given birth to.

Alexis was beside her with Martha out in the hallway. Kate had decided on being surprised on the gender.

"What are you going to name her? She's adorable, but I think that everyone would like a name to go with the face." Alexis teased slightly.

Kate looked down at the perfect bundle in her arms. She had been toying with a name for months if it was girl, and now it just seemed perfect.

"Rikki Johanna Castle." She said with finality. "Rikki for her father and with a similar spelling to Nikki from the books, and Johanna for my mother."

Alexis looked down at the girl. "Hello Rikki. I'm your big sister Alexis. It is very nice to finally be able to meet you."

The rest of their family and friends came in in twos or threes. By the time they were gone, Kate was exhausted.

Alexis grinned at Kate. "I am going to go. I have class in the morning. She kissed Kate's cheek and handed over her younger sister. "Take care of her for me."

Kate laughed. "Yes ma'am. Have fun. Be safe. Text me when you get back. It's late."

Alexis mock saluted her as she left. They both laughed, relishing in the first real and true laugh either of them had had in almost nine months.

**AN: Okay, so I know that this is really really really late. I am so sorry! But I was sick last week and just didn't have the energy to write. Hopefully, I will have more normal updates this week. **

**Next chapter: What we have all been waiting for… **


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Okay, so this is exactly what I just posted, but I got a couple reviews telling me that the order was confusing. Other than that, the writing is exactly the same. Thanks**

Alexis and Rikki

"Hey Alex. What are you doing here?" Rikki asked as she walked over to her older sister after school.

"I came to pick you up." She said as Rikki moved to get into the passenger seat. "How was school?"

"It was school. So, did you guys find my clue?"

"Your clue?" Alexis asked, knowing what she was talking about.

"Yeah, my iPod?"

"Oh, that clue. Yes we did find it. Great job by the way. That was great work."

Rikki blushed from the praise from her older sister. "Thank you. How's Mom doing?"

Alexis stole a glance towards Rikki. "Not the greatest. Now that both of us are missing she is probably driving herself insane."

Rikki turned to her. "I miss her!" She exclaimed. "I want to go home."

"I know kiddo. I know you do."

"She needs us! All of us are here except for her! She's grieved Dad long enough, I don't want her to have to mourn us too. We should sneak off and go home."

"Don't you think there might be a reason we are here?"

"I don't care. My priority is my mom."

"And that is extremely sweet kiddo, but first and foremost, she would want you to keep yourself safe."

"But she's got to be a wreck."

"Rikki, I know that. But we can't do anything about it right now."

"I can run away," Rikki suggested. "I will do it as soon as we get home. I can make it back to New York without getting caught or in trouble."

They pulled up to the house, but neither made a move to get out and neither noticed the other vehicle.

"Rikki," Alexis put her hands on her younger sister's shoulders. "I want you to promise me that you will keep yourself safe. In turn, I will work on getting Kate out here, okay?"

Rikki looked her sister in the eyes, looking for any signs of dishonesty. She found none.

"Fine." She sighed and they got out and headed for the door and the surprise of their lives.

Kate about 18 hours after she figures it out

Kate took a deep breath, feeling as if she were back to the first time she had gone to Castle's place to tell him how she felt.

She knocked and waited for an answer, clutching 'Rook's' book to her chest.

The door opened and her breath caught. He looked different with black hair and green eyes, but it was obviously him. She kept her cover though, just in case.

"Mr. Rook? Hello, my name is Nicole. I know that you don't do book signings but I am so in love with your book. Would you please sign it for me?"

Castle just stared at her. "Mr. Rook?" She asked.

He jumped. "Yeah, sure. Come on in." he stood aside and she walked past him.

"Would you like some coffee?" Castle asked as he led her into the kitchen.

"No. I don't drink coffee." Was her immediate, yet true response.

"Since when?" He asked incredulously as he turned away from the coffee pot.

"Since you left." She set her book on the table and sat down.

"Kate…" he sat down across from her. "I am in the Witness Protection Program."

She sighed. "I kind of gathered that much."

"How?"

"The book, your name, your look. None of that would happen if you were actually kidnapped." She took a breath and leaned back in her chair.

"I didn't want to be here." Castle told her quietly.

"Then why are you?" Kate snapped back at him.

"They didn't give me a choice."

"You are an adult. How did you not have a choice in it?" She was quickly losing control.

"I don't know! They forced me into it and every time I try to get back to New York, they catch me and bring me back here."

"You've tried to come back?" Her face softened slightly at that news.

"To see you and Alexis? Many, many, times." He admitted with a breathy laugh. "I haven't ever stopped thinking about you."

"You haven't- you haven't moved on?" She asked, scared of the answer.

"Of course not. However, I understand if you-"

She cut him off, moving towards him and capturing his lips in a kiss that she deepened.

"they finally pulled back and rested their foreheads against each other.

"Castle?"

"Hmm."

"Don't think that I am not still pissed at you."

He let out a laugh. I know, Kate. I love you."

"I love you too." She grinned sappily at him.

The door opened and they jumped back, right before Alexis and Rikki came in.

"Aunt Kate?" Rikki exclaimed, launching herself to Kate. Kate caught her and pulled her close.

"He doesn't know who I am yet," Rikki whispered. "Our story is that Alexis baby sits me all of the time which is how I know you."

Kate nodded. "You don't want him to know?"

"You can tell him if you want but I don't want to be here when you do."

They pulled back and stood up.

"Can Alexis take me down to the park?" Rikki asked, picking up her school bag that she had dropped when she saw Kate.

"Do you have homework?" Castle asked.

"Not a lot. I can do it after supper." She promised.

Castle sighed. "Okay."

"Yay!" Rikki raced to her room and put her book bag down. They were about out the door when Kate called them back.

"Are you packing, Alexis?"

"No. They took my gun away."

Kate pulled a gun from the strap on her leg and handed it over.

"Thanks." Alexis smiled as she took it.

"Hold on," Castle said. "Since when do you know how to shoot a gun?"

"Later, Dad." Alexis said as she and Rikki left.

"What-"

"Let Alexis explain later, Castle." Kate sighed and pulled him to the couch. "I need to talk to you. It is extremely important."

Castle immediately sat down next to her, serious. "What's wrong?"

"Not… wrong, per se." She said quietly. Castle waited patiently. "I'm not Rikki's aunt.

"Well, you don't have siblings so I figured that. I just figured you were close to her."

Kate let out a short laugh. "Yeah, you could say that. Castle, she is my daughter."

Castle blinked a couple times. "Are you serious?" Kate nodded. "She's what, twelve?"

"Eleven."

"But that would mean-" Castle stopped and looked at her. "She's ours." He whispered.

"Yes, Castle. She's ours." Kate said with a sappy smile.

"She must hate me." Castle groaned, but Kate was already shaking her head.

"She doesn't hate you. She loves you." She said with conviction.

"How would you know? And why wouldn't she tell me who she was? I mean, she knew who I was and obviously Alexis was in on it."

"Rick, I don't think that she wanted to risk being hurt by you. As much as I wish she didn't have to, she has seen me grieve you. She is only eleven, so she only knows what I show her. So she loves you, but she doesn't want to be hurt by you."

Castle nodded his understanding before pulling Kate into a hug.

"We have a daughter." He whispered.

"We have a daughter." She repeated.

Their moment was ruined by a sudden knock on the door.


End file.
